Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Real Big Fish and Eels??

Edward Bloom enters this unused road that is supposed to be haunted…why? Because its haunted.

He has the toughest time getting through, heck dealing with large jumping spiders. He enters this hidden town called Spectre. The grass is beautifully manicured, the houses are picture-perfect and people are charming –its like coming home.

No one ever leaves – they hang their shoes on a wire at the entrance of the town.

During one of those quaint village dance things, Edward realizes that Spectre is perfect, its familiar….but its not right. He says he has to leave and would consider himself lucky if he ends up there.

The instigating thought is advice given to him from the witch – the biggest fish gets to be that way by never getting caught.

It’s an analogy I guess for what Steve Jobs had to say – stay hungry, stay foolish. But basically don’t be ready to settle down and take rest your legs for the fear of stopping. For me it was a bit different, the interpretation that is.

I kinda figured one of the reasons I didn’t want to marry A was well, not because I didn’t want to but I had reached everything she had to offer too soon. Like Edward Bloom in Spectre, I found everything a guy could want. But I was still early. I wasn’t ready to rest my legs. And even though Bloom risked never finding Spectre again, he did move on…simply because the biggest fish gets to be that way by not getting caught.

I would count myself a lucky guy if I ended up in Spectre….but not right now. And perhaps A wasn’t my Spectre…perhaps that perfect town is out there and as the road meets my feet with every step, I hope it leads me to my own spectre … all in good time

And until then, I will try and find the way to Spectre, making my own mistakes and chasing my own demons

Btw, a friend called up bright and early this morning (what the hell does that expression hope to convey? I am not a morning person and definitely not bright until I have had my first cuppa) sounding gruff…and she said that it sucked waking up thinking about the other person..

God almighty I guess I can take some comfort in knowing that I’m not the only one who goes through that agonizing pain over a broken heart – enough enough(!) times have I woken up during the course of my 5 year relationship with her name echoing in my head as I cross over from asleep to waking and it’s the most tiring thought knowing that and you just know you will feel like lead the rest of the day, your legs dragging behind you and mind numb

Of course, my ex wasn’t the only one who made me feel like that, I felt the same way about the other two as well…

Ugh, someone take me out back like Ole’ Yeller and shoot me?

Just kidding….

But yes, I know that feeling and it kind of feelings like the song “I Need Some Sleep” by Eels

I need some sleep.
You can’t go on like this.
I try counting sheep,
But there’s one I always miss.

Everyone says, "I’m getting down too low"
Everyone says, "You just gotta let it go"
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go

I need some sleep
time to put the old horse down
I’m in too deep
and the wheels keep spinning round

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