Tuesday, August 29, 2006

How Now Brown Gao?

Okay, so im 23 and am a snot-nosed kid compared with some of the heavy-weights I have come across in the past year. And I know that I am a blithering idiot who knows squat. Yes, I know a bit more than I did a year ago but I have barely scratched the surface.

So when I come across a smarmy 21 year old intern who gets on a high-horse and seems to be living off daddy’s dough and sounds as smarmy as this one, I just feel like ripping her arm off and hitting her on the head with the bloody stump.

The original email reached me through two distinct routes. If you check the oxford thread, you can see its made its rounds in most i-banks and across the desk of a few MD’s. My boss in London saw this email. Well, at any rate, everyone seems to know who this kid is.

Its seems as though the universe has bent this snot nosed little prissy over and given her an up-ending she wont forget soon (though if you read her replies to some of the emails, including one sent by interns at DwK, she hasn’t learned her lesson)

Dear Friends,

Thank you for all your replies and I am glad all of you can come this Friday to celebrate my 21st with me.

Please read ALL the following to ensure your entry into the Ritz.

Lucy's 21st Birthday Party at The Ritz Hotel London

Friday, 18th of August
9pm Champagne Reception
10pm Photo Shoots
10:30pm Blowing Candles

Mid-night Pangaea, Mayfair

I have arranged the Ritz to host a Champagne Reception with a selection of Ritz Champagne for all my guests, this will be on me so please come and indulge.

A specially made birthday cake has also been ordered and the Ritz waiters will kindly serve you each a generous slice with Ritz cutleries, etc...also on me.

* When you arrive, take the Hotel entry on the opposite side of the Green Park tube station [Please refer to your arrival time at the end of this email]
* When asked "how can I help you Sir/Madame?", you reply "I am here for Lucy's Birthday Party at the Rivoli Bar"
* You will be escorted to the lounge area next to the Rivoli bar, where you will hopefully see a gorgeous group of ladies.

If you experience any issues getting in or getting to the Ritz, please call my mobile on ????? ??? ??? and my PA Ms Gill will kindly deal with your queries between 8:30pm to 10pm.

Gentlemen: Jacket, shirt, and please also bring a tie (no jeans, trainers, flip-flops, polo-shirts)
Ladies: skirt/top, cocktail dress (no denim, min-skirts, flip-flips, bad tastes)

Advice 1: It goes without saying that the more upper-class you dress, the less likely you shall be denied entry.
Advice 2: Photos will be taken between 10pm to 10:30pm, and these will be distributed once processed, therefore you may want to be well-groomed!

I will be accepting cards and small gifts between 9pm to 11pm... hehehe

I very much look forward to seeing you all at the Ritz this Friday.


ARRIVAL TIMES: [Please stick to these as best as you can, thank you]
9:00pm: Lucy, Sophie S., Kajai, Mandeep, Preet, Sanami, Su, Lisa, Kate.
9:15pm: Phoebe, Sophie Se., Theo, Dmitry, Ed, Nikolay, Paul, Nick, Harry.
9:30pm: Marco, Andrea, Jess, Ovi, Yuki, Olga, Kim, Marcelo, Ulyana, Krystal, Dan.
9:45pm: Sunita, Alan, JingJing, Emma.
10:00pm: Anthony, Rachel, Roger, Uli, Yogi, Gharzi

Lucy Gao
Citigroup | Real Estate Equity Research
Xth Floor, Citigroup Centre (CGC1)
25 Canada Square, London E14 5LB
Direct Line: +44 2?? ??? ????
Fax: +44 2?? ??? ????
Mobile: +44 7?? ??? ????

Incidentally, her ‘PA’ is just a friend…dude, if I had a friend who assigned me to be their PA and make it sound like I actually were, it would take more than Ritz champagne and generous slices of Ritz caked (served using Ritz cutlery) to be friends with her

Anyway, to demonstrate karma, some of the selections from various email chains that have distributed this:

  • Oh my god! Read from the bottom! Its gone not only to EVERYONE in citibut i've just been told by my boss its gone all over the banks and they're all laughing about it. -- Citi
  • "It goes without saying that the more upper-class you dress, the lesslikely you shall be denied entry."...!! it also goes without saying that the more i read of that, the less
    likely i am to contain my mirth
    -- Citi
  • Nice, nice....have just received it from graduate recruitment co-ordinator over here as well....that's another bank where she'll get giggled at during the interview.... -- Don’t know where that came from but ouch!!

And in reply to the above

  • She won't make it to interview, just like pretty much every bank where HR has now seen this. -- don’t know where this is from but its definitely a ‘d’oh’ moment

  • How are YOUR interns doing this summer? Looks like Citi real estate research rocks! -- Director, European Energy Group, UBS Investment Bank

  • It's been around the UBS IBDers and filtering through the rest. Our team had a laugh and tried to fill in the blanks; contacts at ABN, Goldman's, RBS etc. have been informed to avoid them feeling left out... -- don’t know but all I can say is oh dear

Me singing ‘it’s a small world after all…it’s a small world…

  • “I'd like to say that this Lucy Gao is now famed internationally. I am in HONG KONG of all places (all 6000 miles away from lovely Citigroup London) and doing an internship at Rabobank Hong Kong. I received the email from my boss asking if I knew this "silly woman" on Friday afternoon.
    I forwarded the email to a few close friends, two hours afterward I was forwarded MY email by a friend working in Osaka, Japan, at Nomura.

And the rebuttal

From: Gao, Lucy [CIR]
Sent: Thursday, August 24, 2006 5:00 PM
To: *GCIB EU Summer Analyst Class

Subject: FROM the girl herself...
Hi Fellow Citigroup Interns,
Just to clear a few things up, now that it is seriously getting out of
control, it was suppose to be an internal joke between me and a couple
of my guests to my 21st Party. The actual party was great, and nothing
like it so please do not worry. I should not have used my Citigroup
email account in the first place so I apologise for that.
I am sorry if you found the content of the invitation details offensive
and I am glad to entertain. But please stop now because it is getting
really unprofessional and unnecessary, and a lot of you know me anyway
and have heard about this so I apologise for repeating this again, but
hopefully for the final time.
Cheers everyone and have a great time this evening.
See you soon.

Oh this is the one from Dwk

From: xxxx [mailto:xxxx@dresdnerkleinwort.com]
Sent: 24 August 2006 16:19
To: Gao, Lucy [CIR]
Subject: Hello from Dresdner
Hi there,
The Interns at Dresdner Kleinwort were recently forwarded an email regarding your 21st birthday celebrations. We would like to extend our congratulations to you upon reaching this milestone age. Did you get any lovely gifts?
I have been thinking about organising a function at the Ritz myself as I will be 22 in the near future. I was wondering if you could inform me of your opinions as to the levels of service and quality of your experience at the Ritz. Was it a good night? Also do you have any photos of the event?
How was the Ritz champagne and cake? I imagine it is expensive so I would have thought it would be of the highest quality? Also how strict is the dress code? Was anyone refused entry for not being upper class enough?
I am also somewhat confused by the different arrival times. Is this a requirement of the Ritz that large groups must be split up to arrive at different times for private functions such as your birthday? Or is this merely some sort of ranking system of your friends and acquaintances?
My final question pertains to the Ritz cutlery... I bet this is some top shelf quality cutlery, yes? I was wondering how easy you think it'd be to steal a few sets as I'd love to have some in my flat... While I'd like to think I'm very upper class, I'm actually a right pikey!
Summer Analyst
IT Global Management

Oh well, seems like this bird is unfazed so good on her! Me, I just think that a brick needs to drop on her (but then again, im sure several need to fall on me albeit for different reasons)






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