Oi Vay...What Morons

'm an idiot, I was an idiot and hopefully will always be one.

And I remember the ex would get mad at me sometimes for being immature and call me a juvenile. I think I am growed up enough so there…I remember one time I was acting like an idiot just to tease her and she broke into tears ruing her fate mumbling, ‘I’m dating an idiot’

Anyway, ‘ a little madness now and then is relished by the wisest men’ or so sayeth Willy Wonka and fuck you, I’m gonna quote the truth where I find it from Satre to Snoopy (or in this case a loopy character)

So I had a long moronic chat with …ugh, psi….so how often have you heard 'jelly donut', 'the rocker, the spocker, the shock her, the death star and clit commander, the 'deer in the headlights, 'the hitler' in the same breath as Lord of the Rings and pot….hmm, im sure there is some underlying theme here but god knows what it is (stupidity perhaps??)

Adriana Lima:

She is stunning. So while NM kept sending pictures of her in rather aesthetic frames and positions, her face, her eyes, I kept sending pictures of her boobs, butt and legs in that order. See! Guys and girls do see things differently. But nonetheless, consensus between both of us is that we would do her in a heartbeat…thought it would last longer than one…perhaps three or four even

We spoke on quickies:

Foreplay in this case, in my opinion, begins 45 minutes before the actual quickie i.e. telling her what I want to do and where and I think that works very very well…and psi (oh come on, really?! That name is what you want…if you had picked Engelbert Humperdinck I would have agreed more…if you say that name to me over and over, I start giggling) said she had had one quickie and it lasted 15 minute and it wasn’t very good. I can’t say I have had too many but I think half the fun was turning each other on in a crowded room, just talking and well, looking at each other

AIESEC, I suck, I horny!

Take a bunch of over-sexed teenagers in a deserted place with a whole floor to themselves and trouble/hilarity will ensue. I promise you. You can make a bankable movie and call it another teen movie for all I care (so long as I get credit). I remember it was during the winter during one local congress (dig the pun) and I remember hooking up with the x in the bathroom with 40 people asleep on the other side…it was very, satisfying.

And psi hooked up with the male slut of the university, cool enough guy…considering all we spoke about was music and weed.

Meanwhile the guy she liked, her main/continuing/perpetual squeeze AK was hooking up with the president of the organization. Oh dear

Holy hormones Batman!

And then there was TB (unfortunate initials) who really liked this guy who came across as a player (not that I was acquainted with the word back in the day) and now TB is quite intimidating to men since she is dominating and ambitious (I think) and all in all, can be a bit of a man eater. She is the one who went tadpoling and was all for it telling someone that all you need to do is sit back, let the juices flow (rip my ears off now please) and eat cheese toast while junior goes at it….who said men are the only ones who burp, scratch their balls and talk crass? Oh well, she knows what she wants and that be a good thing

Anyway, so she likes the player who I guess doesn’t want to get involved and instead of doing what women do (because I guess that wasn’t working, she took caveman approach i.e. yelled at him for not liking her back. And he is standing behind a mop, trying to shield his not so diminutive stature behind the handle – good job there.

On the nasty in ‘do the nasty-nasty’:

So psi asked me what was the one thing a woman has told me that shocked me…nothing! That’s sad that I had all the theoretical knowledge and…wait a minute, that’s a good thing! Now I just need to find willing subjects and suffice to say that there isn’t too much of a dearth of women who let me practice my cunning linguistics…heeheehee

But yes I did tell her about the following:

The Hitler: stick a finger in through the back and leave her a little Hitler moustache

The Pearl Necklace: cum on her neck

The Cleveland Steamer: dump b/w her boobs

The deer in the headlights: do her from behind and just as you are about to cum, swirl her around and give her a money shot in the eyes blinding her

And the nastiest thing that I could imagine was scat…she said she thought it was a myth leading to the famous lines: Yes Virginia, there is scat, no Virginia, there is no Santa

So that can be used in the future where it will not only kill a kid’s innocence but rape, burn, quarter and bury it.

On substances:

She tried to explain potheads have their own vibe and radar…since I do it once in 4-6 months, I wouldn’t know. But apparently using the word ‘dude’ in delhi is a dead giveaway. Who’da thunk?

11 was introduced to Erasex by psi. Now that’s something I never want to try! I remember 11 telling me that once she and psi did it at psi’s place and her dad came home and they blacked out for about 15 minutes, would keep opening her bedroom door, giggling and going back inside. Great. Idiots

Then we chewed the fat about the Lord of the Rings. And that was the sanest part of the conversation.