Monday, October 16, 2006

New York New York!

Mr. Beeblebrox Does The Big Apple (no, not in that way but I did make the city mine)

Is it delightful to go for a breakfast meeting at 7:30am, have your guts in a knot from too much coffee and a clenched jaw from stress? Yeah, I needed a break and off we went.

You have to love airport checks. Is it ironic that I wrote about skin color and I was standing in line at the check point smiling to myself wondering what the odds were I would be pulled aside for an extra check? It’s even money if you ask me given I am brown and was rather unshaven Friday. So the guy pulls me aside and goes, “You have been selected for an additional, random security check” Whee! Lucky me, now where’s my million dollar check? None? What, I get the special brown color discount? So he takes me into a special booth (now now, you pervs) and says, this is a whole body scan, place your feet on the marks, stand with your arms in the air. So I stare at the carpeted wall wondering what next, a butt probe? No, instead I just had to turn around and do it over. But there was this picture of a white woman standing in place to show you how to stand. Right, how many white women in business suits have done this again?

I did indulge in duty free shopping, took Hook’s advice on Issey Miyaki for men and Aqua Di Gio which Bobo approves of as well. And yes, thanks to Mother Beeblebrox who deigned to visit in August, I have no T-Shirts left. She didn’t approve so after going through my cupboard (Ma! Really now! Thank the stars I keep stuff that would give her a minor heart-attack *touch wood* are kept somewhere else). So now you have me wearing a damn t shirt, straight out of the laundry. But Heathrow (unlike the crappy airport at Milan) had a Pink and a Hackett where I proceeded to get into holiday mood and shop.

The flight was thankfully uneventful but thank you’s to the folks who wished me a good flight, the ones who didn’t, why not?!

I was stressed thanks to BB who hadn’t even picked up the concert tickets from my office but we made it and saw the show for an hour and a half and that shit was over the top. You have Bruce Dickinson a very youthful 40’s…jackrabbits all over the stage, a packed stadium, fireworks, four, yes kiddies, four guitarists playing riffs like Death on their heels…near orgasmic (what can I say, live music, especially when its good sends me to own little Heaven). And of course, the show didn’t disappoint. There’s one video clip of a giant tank popping up with Ed Hunter sticking out of it and looking around. What can I say, Maiden’s new album has to do with war and death and stuff like that (would elaborate but I haven’t really heard it). Unfortunately, they were on tour to promote the new album which well, isn’t as good as their heyday but there’s nothing like listening to a band you grew up to with BB who was screaming his lungs off, a little air guitar on your part, thousands of screaming fans. Then there was a giant mecca-Eddie on stage, 12 feet high who came on during the song ‘The Evil That Men Do’. I loved the set, even though they played their old stuff for about 45 minutes but it was worth it! And the tickets were the best in the house baby! Right up there in front, close enough to see the guitar strings! (now guess which instrument is my favourite). And heck, watching these guys, its no wonder every guy wants to be a rock star…

BB, his friends and I went to Mr. Bigg’s which used to be a hole in the wall – think etched wooden counter, barflies, music and the smell of stale beer. Fine, call it a hole in the wall but my friends and I have consistently ended up here after a wild night about. The place has two happy hours -- 7pm to 8pm and 2am to 4am. But a hole in the wall it no longer is…they have TV’s all over with karaoke, a hostess to seat you (she must have been in her 30’s but that didn’t stop me from grabbing a ciggie with her and just talking about the City…she was attractive! I cant help myself…oh dear, the times I have said that!). Mo and her bf (who has all the personality of a dead tree stump) met us there, him preppy as ever (think white shirt with cardigan vest and argyles) and she looking as cute as always…anyway, I think she dragged him out which was flattering.

SB and Ash had already hit the sack when BB and I got home and Saturday was great. I went to Macy’s (love the one day sales) and the Apple store on 5th ave. I think I recently read a story saying that some Muslims take offence to the fact that it is shaped like the Kaaba and should be destroyed. Hold on, step back a minute. Because it’s a cube shaped building, it is offensive? Dude, Cleopatra’s needle, the Washington monument, they are all phallic in shape, how about those? No, seriously, it’s a freaking computer store, get your head out of your butt and get real…Jesus, there’s no accounting for people. Einstein said it best when he said there were no limits to space and human stupidity.

Now, lets talk about sexy. Sexy is a lot of things – Adriana Lima, the new Lamborghini, the report on Iraq and WMD’s, my new computer…the MacBook Pro, 17” of design and pure lust…no, you don’t understand how good that computer is, I literally drool over it…fine ya, im a geek but that think is…its so money baby!

And, it set me back a pretty penny but it was my last major purchase for the year.

Oh and I think what made my day was seeing Guppy who I think may have come down from DC to see me. I love that girl…LOVE! She is the nicest person I know without being sweet, she is down to earth considering her background and is just a big (shes 5 feet and a few) softie. Plus she’s always been there when I was low, I’ve taken care of her when she’s been piss-ass drunk, I’ve been in fights to keep guys from taking advantage of her (and I mean that, especially when some loathsome prick finds an inebriated girl, he has his hands all over her…dude, makes me sick) and I know I’m going to be the idiot who gets buzzed at her wedding and spreads joy to the world…and it’s a pity I didn’t get a chance this time to grab coffee with her but seems as tho she is done with SS…but then they have split up so many times, my question is always which stage she is at this time around…

Saturday night finds me, Ash, Guppy, SB and BB at The Forbidden City which SUCKS DONKEY BALLS. We have reservations for 9:30 right (btw, it took us an hour to find a place that was still taking reservations at 11am on Satuday for dinner, what gives people?!) and waitress is you must be out by 11:30…fine, its new, perhaps they have a list. No forks, only chopsticks, half the items on the 10 item entrée list as unavailable, the appetisers, like the entrees apparently for anorexic models, portions so small I actually say out aloud ‘where’s the rest of it?’ and mean it. Oh well, I know I am never going there again.

Post dinner end up at Kush which well, was nice at one point when we could get a booth, a sheesha that actually works and drink that were under $8 (I tend to have 10 drinks in an evening, going out costs money and now I know why I end up broke, do the math people). Turns out Ash has broken up with Bawa for a pretty crappy reason, ironic because I just wrote about it as well.

Me: so why did you two split up…should I ask or wait for the story to make its rounds?
Ash: I have one word for you…
Me: ???
Ash: religion

Dude, What. The. Fuck? How can someone who is smart and works at a multinational investment firm be … be the kind oh my folks will pick for me. For the first time, I felt bad for her, because she really want into him and it’s the first time I’ve seen her like that. Anyway, we got into a discussion about inequality in relationships and well, it’s everywhere.

Guppy was interested in flirting with the Tree Stump even though all of us warned her about her personality but well, you gotta do what you gotta do. I naturally flirted with Mo a bit, who was well, more friendly and flirtatious than usual. Anyway, nice girl and all but well, nice girls are nice, bad girls are interesting. Besides, she seems really into him what with planning a mini-break in December with him and his brother is getting married in April so his brother and fiancée and the two are going on a holiday together. And this is a guy who doesn’t let her sleep over. Say it with people, What. The. Fuck?

BB and his friends don’t gel with my college group. I am not taking away from anyone here and BB is still my BestBud but’s like he is still the guy I knew in high-school where as the girls, I grew up with in college. We went through shit together, enough stress over everything, heartache and growing pains and it seems though he hasn’t gone through it. I hope he does soon.

Plus well, argghghhhh….i felt guilty about going to expensive places…and I HATE feeling like that because I never want to have to apologize for getting paid what I do. I worked my ass off in school, I did crappiest of jobs like waiting on snobby FOB’s in school at a restaurant, them making jokes like ‘oye waiter’ and the girls giggling like idiots…I have spent a dime from my dad’s allowance on booze or going out, why the hell should I feel guilty. But I did. He wanted to stay home and get booze and said why bother going out. But dude, its NY, its me, I like my fancy pants stuff once in a while and I haven’t done that since leaving the city. How do I tell him? And I can’t do that when my friends from college want to go out all dressed up, its just fun! And it became painfully obvious – the place we went to hiked up sheesha prices like no tomorrow (this is just a small example) to $30 a sheesha (that *is* ridiculous but I work hard, I don’t care at this point!) and well, his friends and he kept hogging it and Ash had to get another because she said there were too many people on that.. Theirs gets over and they start pulling on the one she got. I think I died a bit when she said could you please get it back. So in my inebriated state I had to take care of this.

And it wasn’t just that. Ash and I get along despite a bad history because we both like to see life like it is and despite the fact that it sucks at times, we still love it, we love what we do, we love the City and once in a while like to sit and talk. So we got the last of Bawa’s substances and proceeded to get like kites and drink wine. She and I are sitting, listening to Floyd and Pearl Jam (She: so, two good things came from his (Bawa’s) leaving: his playlist and this dime bag). We were talking about love and life and how sucky this year has been and in walks BB who then acts like a 16 year old, tries to get us to play Blackjack and hijacks Ash’s computer and playlist. Besides, I think she wanted to talk to me alone and he was off watching TV.

I love BB but sometimes he acts like everyone is like one of the guys and there are no responsibilities in life and the sun always shines.

Arghhhghghgh, I hate it when two world mush in to each other which is why Bobo and Bawa are weird for me (but please don’t let anything affect what you have going on Bobo, its just a bit odd for me but not necessarily something bad)

The evening at Kush came to an end when I wanted to close my tab. The nice lady bartender was a sweetheart but there was one scowling black guy who didn’t speak to (he had his own end of the bar). I wanted to close the tab and was waiting 20 minutes with everyone waiting on me.

Me: I would like to close my tab please…
Him: okay….(still standing there)
Me: um, is there anything else? (when I open a tab, usually the bartender remembers me and in my state, I forgot I hadn’t ordered from him)
Him: I will give you three guesses, think about it while I tend to the other side of the bar…and you don’t have to talk to me like that just because I am black.

Come on kiddies, you know the drill, one, two, three…

Yeah, exactly

I got the lady to close the tab and I’m like I didn’t mean to cause offence but no need to assume I was rude because of his skin…she said he had had a bad night, well guess what jerk-off, thanks for ruining mine.

We leave when BB is like, ‘duuuude, why didn’t you start a fight’…well, maybe because there are women here, maybe because im not 17, maybe because everyone has a shit day and I don’t want to be the one who adds to it?

BB wants to go out more. I don’t want to, no one else wants to, everyone has had a long rough week at work…but then BB proceeds to make fun of everyone and leaves with his friends…man, sometimes I wish he would grow up…anyway, I’ve known him most of my life…am just realizing I can’t mix friends…pity, I loved my 23rd when I had delhi friends, school friends and college friends, about 30 of them at a club where we took over the floor, I was buzzed and every where I turned to, I knew people and just felt great! (so maybe I do like being the centre of attention! ….sometimes)

Ash goes home and crashes, I proceed to make like a kite again and go with SB to get pizza, 99 cent pizza! $6 for a pie! My fucking miserable three rib appetiser cost more and left me hungry…yeesh

Sunday I drag my ass out of bed at 2pm and after BB leaves, Ash, Guppy, SB and I do brunch (at 3:30pm) at a nice diner near their house.

But it felt good to go back. I loved the evening in their balconey because everything was as it should be, the river (with a cruise shop docked), Jersey across the water, 11th ave stretching out, lights changing in rhythym, cars flowing, the big billboards breaking the skyline and as always, all three girls trying to get ready at the same time, me out having a smoke and a glass of wine. Yeah, very sappy poetic but its one of the few places I can be and for a change allow the world to pass me by. I’m along and yet have to turn around to see my closest friends, I can walk in like its my own place and it is…it just feels like a place I belong. And I am so glad Guppy is moving to the city…

These girls have disctinct personalities of their own and yet are so close – Ash the i-banker in a skirt and fast paced walk who like me, wants to dominate, she’s the mindfuck who looks like a Cheshire cat, loves playing games, can do the whole fancy meal thing and enjoy it for more than what is it but understands why I love it so much (it’s just a reminder to both of us of where we are but also where we came from and we enjoy understanding that everything we do or how we spend our money, it doesn’t matter, what does is that we have made it this far and that gives us quite a rush)

SB who is the sweetest girl on earth and gorgeous to boot even though she had one meaningless relationship that lasted 3 mos. I don’t understand why guys don’t trip over themselves for her. She is awfully shy at first and I guess that comes off as being a snob but she is by far the most innocent girl I have ever met (I had to explain the bases to her last year…and shes 24 now)…

Guppy who I have mentioned before…

Anyway, getting back to London was a pain…turbulent flight, an old English woman who was a total lush (and was pounding the whiskey…what the fuck granma?!) BA loses my bag (its one fucking bag you numbnuts on one direct flight, what is wrong with you?!)

I’m back now and tomorrow is a busy busy day…back to the grind…New York, don’t change, I’m coming back soon!

PS: have reallllly neat clips of the concert which I will put up soon

PPS: Shortifer, still owe you a mail and I promise to deliver!


scout said...

you owe me an email too. just keeping count, :d

hed said...

What you told me about Bawa has put me off him completely but I in anycase am clearly more into Zivania. And yet again the guy I like more is a non smoker.
Glad you had a great weekend, pity you missed out on the fun we had here while you were AWOL Dad.
It's not like I don't understand people dumping each other because of religion, people get dumped for some pretty stupid reasons. A bulbous nose, for not knowing how to apply butter to a just issed me off dude. Anywhoo I donot understand how he could be like that!Especially after the sort of pimage he projects....and where's his religion when he's smoking, drinking, eating ham sandwiches.....very very very fucked up. This isn't about religion, this is about not having the balls to say, 'No. I will not struggle to keep you in my life.' Or 'No. I don't have the balls to stand up for myself.'
Maybe I'm judging this too harshly but it's extremely disappointing to meet people from the same sort of background and upbringing as oneself and still find them stuck in a very medieval mindset, with a very warped sense of upkeeping tradition.
O well, tell her I said she didn't lose out on much anyway.

eM said...

and since everyone else is getting an email, i should too, i think. but duuuuuuuuude, freaky with the bartender, huh? i wonder what it was that pissed him off so much?

Zaphod said...

eM, I am selfish and have an ego. (don't like it? tough noogies!) want mail you write there!
Or buy me booze...or ciggies...hmmmmmm, Kingfisher and Classics.....

And the bartender, yeah, god fucking knows, he can go fuck a pole for all I care, i'm sick of people dumping on each other (and no Bobo, this is not a scatalogical reference, its slang)

eM said...

awwwwww.. no one writes me emails anymore. :(

i'll buy you the booze and the smokes dude. promise. but this had better be a LONG fucking email!

eM said...

on second thought, i realise it's a little bit sad having to bribe people to write me emails.

Zaphod said...

there there eM...its okay, tell me way behind on emails, and on work, so, no email since i get to meet you in person (oh me oh my, fancy that!)

hedonistic hobo said...

zaphod, my head hurts. why do we party till 5 am on a tuesday night? i mean the jobles amongst us can but what about you guys!?!
o grooaaaannnnnnnnn my head hurts

basho said...

dude, i just moved to new york. it sounds great!