Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I Never Said This Was Going To Be An Interesting Blog

So let me talk about what I find attractive in a woman…(laugh)

Sorry, I should have a preface to this. I dragged my butt to the gym yesterday and a gruelling session left me too tired to sleep. So, few slices of pizza with Bobo, an episode of the show I swore off of and Southpark, I crashed

And for once I slept soundly. I used to suffer from insomnia (not to mention other psychosomatic issues which I wont even get into because then I sound like a real freak) and I think working out leaves me too tired to toss and turn.

So, I slept and as always, when I sleep so deep I dream. And yes! It was a happy kinda dream…met the Faceless one…and of course noticed things about her…

Now I can talk about how I love a girl who loves coffee and long conversations or how I like a girl who prefers a storm to a sunny day with chirping happy dippy birds about…but I’m 23, and I’m a horn-dog and will cease to be one 6 months after I am dead…so tough noogies

I love a girl with good hands. I like the elegant, thin, long fingers, long shaped nails or short ones don’t matter so long as they aren’t flat. I don’t know why I don’t like flat nails, its not the girls fault, I mean really! But I’m illogical like that. I like the kind that kind of envelope the fingers on the side, not seem like someone took plastic nails, mushed them into a piece of clay and they stuck. Also, hands tell me (in my own warped little head) if a woman keeps herself groomed or not. I really don’t know what’s with the fascination for hands. I guess kind of because they tell you a lot about a person…or do they?

Do writers have different hands from a corporate woman? Or how about a house-wives versus the punk/goth?

And if I am curious about a woman, how her hands feel, are they rough, are the lines on her hands deep or shallow, are her nails thin, how would they feel on me and in my own hands?

And what is this sudden fascination with black nail-polish…what the fuck? And apologies if you do, but I really cant stand red…I make it has its own erotic connotations in a very Anne Rice kind of way for me but that’s all

Then there are her lips. Looking at my track record, I think the women I know have had decent lower lips…now this is coming from someone with fish lips and well, I don’t put much stock in it but people with fat lower lips are supposed to be hm, not that I have ever used this word because I don’t like it but they are supposed to be mirthful (full of mirth…mirth…ew)

I remember SB chasing me with a tube of lip plumper (wtf?! What on earth is all this stuff women smear on!) in a club in NY because I made fun of her for using it (no, think Angelina Jolie lips, that’s what she has…(and I have the male equivalent without looking like someone smushed a plum on my face)…anyway, I think more than her lips, it’s the way her mouth turns when she smiles, are there wrinkles? Is it lopsided? Are there dimples…you can tell a real smile from a fake one you know, the kind that just breaks in right away and the corner of her eyes crinkle…

Hair….don’t know why...i know I don’t have a fetish but as a kid, my mother had long hair and she used to like me playing with her hair as she took a nap…and for some reason, I like a woman’s hands thru my own hair…but I don’t think there is a particular kind of hairstyle I like, so long as its long and frames her neck…but you can scoop it up into a pony tail and see that long neck...okay, yes, women in short hair look cute but well, I think there can be something erotic about making out, a little hair pulling…and a lot of women like the whole puppy scruff pull, I wonder why?


Quirks or more about meeeee

  1. when I get out of the shower, I try and avoid getting any water on my flip-flops. I don’t know why, I think its because I hate walking around with wet feet.
  2. If I have said it before, sorry for repeating myself but I prefer a stormy day to a sunny one
  3. I climb up steps, all steps, two at a time
  4. I don’t like to be kept waiting. If we decide on a time to meet, you can set your watch by the time I get there…the only time you are allowed to be late is if you are a girl and when you walk in, you make my jaw drop
  5. I am a sucker for women but then again so are all guys. I have a bad habit however for liking the wrong kind of girl i.e. the kind who doesn’t like me back
  6. I would as a kid put a fallen eyelash (my own of course) on my right shoulder, make a wish and blow it off. If you see me doing it now, its just me blowing something off my sleeve (really!)
  7. if I am thinking and walking, I am looking at the ground, no I didn’t drop anything but thanks for asking
  8. I haven’t been in too many fights. Once it was a guy being cruel to a dog and I lost it. Another occasion a guy was really rude to one of my closest women friends. The biggest one was when some roadside romeo grabbed a girl I was dropping home. That left me with a 4-5 inch scar which I will have forever…yeah, it takes a lot to set me off but someone being mean to animals or a guy hitting a woman will set me off
  9. I have several friends but few close ones. No one person knows everything about me. I prefer it that way
  10. I don’t get jealous. If I do, I don’t show it.
  11. I try and read the universe. Then again, I have an ego that dictates the universe is trying to talk to me.
  12. If you give me brie and bread, I will shut up for a while and be happy. Period
  13. Give me a coffee and a good conversation and I can spend the entire day just there
  14. I can have a serious chat with you, say something completely random and then resume. It’s not that I am not paying attention, it’s just that I have a little ADD
  15. It takes a lot to get me to open up. Its easy here because none of this is real…right?
  16. If a girl has no imagination, I have no interest
  17. I will try almost anything once…incest, homosexuality etc, I don’t need to try to know I don’t like it
  18. I try not to care about what other people think about me…most of the time I don’t, but am very sensitive to criticism from friends
  19. Please, for the love of god, don’t get me into a temper
  20. I LOVE to drive, I love manuals, there is something exhilarating about driving a manual, foot hard on the accelerator, running through the gears…and one car with a really hot gearbox (is that too overt a pun?) is the Audi A series…the gears are really close like a sports car so you just move your wrist to go through all of them
  21. I like my fancy dinners, I like pretentious stuff…on the other hand I also love the third class compartment in a 3 day journey, I have ridden in Blue Lines in peak summer with other peoples sweat on me (shudder) and have stood in line at MTNL to pay the phone bill.
  22. I don’t remember the last time I felt like a fish out of water.
  23. If you give me a back rub, I will give you anything you want
  24. There are a lot of things I want to be. I just started working toward it. But no regrets, better late than never
  25. I like my name, its very common but I don’t think too many people know what it means
  26. I know what I wanna call my kid and I know what my house should look like (I blame The Sims for that last one!)
  27. Right now, I am desperate to keep a pet of any kind…I even toyed with getting a hamster…problem is when I go back to India, who takes care of it? I have a pet plant. It doesn’t talk back…yet
  28. I have read the Bible, the Quran, the Gita…all of them are good books with decent points…but that’s all I want them to be
  29. I really do read the articles in Playboy
  30. I do believe a kid is influenced by its mother when she is carrying it. My folks were broke when my mum was carrying me and all she did was read and listen to music….i’m nuts about both…she watched way too many Hindi movies with my sis…I blame my sis on my mother!
  31. after spending too much time with people, I need a break. Don’t bother me then
  32. I wish I could paint. I have never tried. I still have time
  33. I over-romanticize love…or so I have been told. I still don’t understand what that means and probably never will. I had a bad feeling if I understand what that means, I will disappear in a puff of smoke
  34. looks do matter to me as they do to everyone. Someone who says looks don’t matter is lying or blind. But on the other hand, a hot girl can be a turn off if she is stupid and a girl can go up a few points if I love her grey stuff up there
  35. I don’t like doing stuff alone…if I see something neat, I want someone there to listen to me and appreciate it
  36. One of the best compliments I have been given is being called interesting.
  37. I snore mildly if I sleep sitting up (like in a train or on the couch)
  38. I always have to sleep on my stomach, facing the side away from the edge…
  39. I understand most of the political situations and happenings in the world, the reasons for conflict. I still don’t understand why people do what they do to each other
  40. I love taking tests like the Meier Briggs or anything that I think may tell me more about me…which is why I can be terribly logical and still read up the Aquarian section of Linda Goodman


I still like AB...but I never hoped for anything or expected anything to happen. So I don't feel that bad...should I ever tell her? What's the point though?

And why on earth am I asking these questions...oh yeah, the ADD


eM said...

i read "brie and head". and how it makes you happy. and thought that was quite honest of you.

till of course, i went back and reread.

and *sniff* short hair is really quite nice. really. :)

hedonistic hobo said...

41. he likes to pose in front of his mirror in pink ruffled lace panties that he stole off this queen at the gay pub, molly moggs.


goddamit! i live with you. i am getting to know you enough already. stop putting up lists!

stormy days over sunny ones, NEVER.

and eM the last girl he dated had shortish hair so dunno what's he on about and since I walk around checking out women with him I know he likes long leggy women. Actually I know he just likes women. This list is just to be cool.

Zaphod didn't you check out a dude with like long thigh-high patent leather boots near the gym last night? Coz he thought he was a woman, TAHT'S how much he likes women!

Awww..... you can kill me when you come back home.

Zaphod said...

This is going to be short as am I.

* No, I dont. You have been sucking the magic dragon way too long.

* The list isn't for you. Its for no one but me. The world revolves around me so fug off.

* Stupid sunny days, they don't even have spines...yuck

* Yeah, she had shortish hair, the others didnt. And yes, I love long legs too but there is a lot that you can do with a short girl. Legs don't have to be long to look good.

* Of course I like women. Any ass can see that, most of my friends are women and I am incorrigibly heterosexual

* "Don't tell me to be cool! I AM COOL!" -- Go watch 'Be Cool' if you didn't get it.

* I didn't check him out. When you see someone in an all rubber body suit including tights and a top with red hair and its a guy, you will notice it.

* As for killing you, I don't think you need me to give you shit...you have enough of that going on already

So should anyone presume that I write for their pleasure, go away. This is my selfish corner of the world and it's all mine mine mine
(firmly plant a big flag on it with my initials)

eM said...

sigh. i wish you lived with me, mobo. :)

eM said...

oh, and also? zaphod? this is not orkut so you reply here. on my beautiful well-thought out post NOT about pink chaddis, you say nice things about how well i write. :)

Zaphod said...

mobo? melancholic hobo...that is true

And eM...what? I never mentioned pink frillies, the Mobo did

And you write very well...there! happy?

eM said...

mobo = hobo's last name + hobo

and promise, i'll stop now.
this is beginning to feel like a discussion board, and i really *do* have things to do.

hedonistic hobo said...

eM, no you don't have things to do coz you've spent an upward of 2.5 hours chatting with on msn which i love you oddles for.

zaphod, deny as you like i got the pictures. and the world does not revolve around you. the world, the revolves around me. in fact even when you're spinning it's not on your own axis.

even though i check out women i know i am vigorously heterosexual coz if u ever ask em to define the perfect male body i'd be like so and so's legs, so and so's chest.......oooo men's chests i like. like you like women's chests. so and so's hair, so and so's jawline so and so's forearms.

i fell for this guy once because he had the most beautiful forearms i have ever seen.

and AK i adored because when he wore a shirt he had the right amount of chest hair bubbling up from underneath.
and KVA has the best adam's apple.
and Lambu had a chest and back to die for.
and SL had the best curly hair and lips.

i would make a beautiful frankenstien if ever given the chance.

Zaphod said...

Ladies, thanks for making MY blog a bulletin board where you can discuss things that are NO importance to me...namely transvestites and men...What. The. Fuck?

eM said...

like you're not having a good time too :)

buuuuut, even though you london-wallahs have nothing to do, i must get home, to bed and flatmate.
wait, that came out wrong.



and totally get the whole secluding parts of body thing. although for me, it's the mouth. i love nice mouths. they floor me.

fivefeetzero said...

brie and bread is wonderful (but chevre and feta are better).
oh, also major sucker for personality tests..i'm an ENFP. and you?

Zaphod said...

i agree, but so many combinations work well...my latest obsession is chocolate cookies with strawberries...anyway, I believe I am an INTJ...will know for sure when I get back to NY when I have my test results...in the mean time