Wednesday, September 13, 2006

I Won't Grow Any Taller No Matter How Much Crap You Pile On!!! Stop Already!

Look now, so fine, I haven’t spent time with her, and everyone can say I have built her in my head but fuck that shit…look, if I am…every time I have been attracted to someone its been by talking to them…and i….i can’t find a rational reason for liking this one, I cant find the justification nor the trigger. You can sit me down and beat my brain black and blue and tell me why its so irrational and shouldn’t exist, trust me, do your worst and it will pale compared with what I have done…
….but sad fact dear Pebbles is that I do like her…now see, it isn’t that I don’t like anyone else, if I have met a cute girl and I think she is cute and I want to get to know her, I will ask her out…but some part of me will still like AB
And its conceivable that I fall in love and get married but a part of me may still be a teenie bit attracted to AB.
And honestly, all I think I want at some point is to let her know that…and I can't ever say before its too late…too late for what my dear schmuck?
Now, ever since I found out she is seeing someone, I said fine, that’s it, you win, I’m out (stand up, clap hands Blackjack dealer style….though for some reason only BestBud seems to be the only one who understands the meaning of this move)…anyway, so, me, I’m out…and honestly, I never thought we would have even been an ‘us’. But fuck me twice on Tuesday if you think I am going to not say anything…it will bust my teeth out and slip out before you get a chance to tell me why it’s a bad idea. I don’t care of the outcome, I cant not say stuff, I have been doing it 23 years and fuck y’all I am tired

So finding out that she was seeing someone oh about 10 days ago made me a little sick but that was the last straw. I decided I would take a break from life. Instead, I get dragged into this…MT and I haven’t spoke in 2 ½ odd months and then suddenly this

MT Says:
now, see - that’s what I need u for

MT Says:

this weekend when u talk to her…
MT Says:

try to gauge what’s going on with this dude

Zaphod Says:
i will try
Zaphod Says:

but personally I don’t really wanna know
Which is true, I *really* don’t want to!

MT Says:
saale kar de yaar (Do it please)

Zaphod Says:
okay fine but if she asks me what you and i spoke about what am i supposed to say

MT Says:
lie

Zaphod Says:
dude

MT Says:
sorry to ask u to do this

Zaphod Says:
fucking A
Zaphod Says:

fine

MT Says:honestly, if u cant, u don’t have to

Fucking A I don’t! I purposely avoided speaking to you because I knew you would guilt trip me…how could you? AB asked a long time ago that I tell her if I was being made to pick sides…and I told her I wouldn’t but the side that asked me to be on their side would be the one I wouldn’t pick…now what?!


Zaphod Says:

if she asks me to lie to you then?

MT Says:then don’t

MT Says: : o)

MT Says: let me put it this way

MT Says:i want to marry this one man

And I really like her…I have as long as you have, wtf?! At least you had a chance and if it ….oh fuck you all to hell

MT Says:
and ive bee thinking about it for a while
MT Says:

and its better for the both of us if the long term happy ending works out

Dude, you sound selfish

Zaphod Says:
i wanted to marry (the Ex) too dude

MT Says:
and also for you because that’s one less anniversary gift you have to give, you can combine them

Zaphod Says:
right, im off
Zaphod Says:

i heard you

MT Says:
i promise i will probe (the Ex) for you

Zaphod Says:
no
Zaphod Says:

no, i don’t want her

MT Says:
if i knew her better id do it man

Zaphod Says:
and i def don’t want anyone who broke my heart

MT Says:
right you you’re my hope

Fuck you! Fuck you to high-hell!

Zaphod Says:
no

MT Says:you’re "in"

I don’t want to be in anything! Why cant everyone leave me alone?!

Zaphod Says:
fucking A

MT Says:
im not

Zaphod Says:
i dont wanna be in

Mommy!!!!

MT Says:
i cant get this info
MT Says:

but you are
MT Says:

ill leave it to u

Zaphod Says:
for once i wanted to not deal with anything, i asked to stay in London to avoid everyone

MT Says:
I’m not going to force u

Gee thanks man

Zaphod Says:
fine, lemme decide

MT Says:
ok

Zaphod Says:
bye

MT Says:
do it just this once

MT Says:
then ill make a call on what im going to be doing

MT Says:
i promise its for the benefit of both AB and I

MT Says:
because ill walk off if she even likes this guy

MT Says:
and wont if she still likes me

MT Says:
win-win-win

MT Says:
(third win is you)

Zaphod Says:
how do i win

Hahahahahaahaha, sweet irony

Zaphod Says:
Never mind Exactly!

Zaphod Says:
im off

Zaphod Says:
i need a smoke

MT Says:
is she having these doubts only because I wasn’t able to fulfill

MT Says:
WAIT

Zaphod Says:
what

MT Says:
or is she genuinely interested in him

Zaphod Says:
fine, i will try

MT Says:
dekh

MT Says:
when someone isn’t able to fulfill some needs

Zaphod Says:
i know the drill

Zaphod Says:
i have been in a relationship for near 6 years

Zaphod Says:
trust me i know all the reasons in the book

MT Says:
one naturally thinks that someone else who might be fulfilling them is the "right" guy

MT Says:
yes

Zaphod Says:
yes ive been there too

MT Says:
so find out if its that, or this

Zaphod Says:fine, i will …now i want to go

Let me go! I don’t want any more shit for a while….LET ME GO!

MT Says:
ok

MT Says:
enjoy smoke

MT Says:
bye

Zaphod Says:
Bye

So, sweet irony, you have had me dumped for someone else, you send me away from my new home, you make me feel things for my friend’s ex, you have her date someone and ask me for advice, you have him guilt trip me, you have him have me help him, you send me two flings, you have my sister drugged….are you really trying to test me or just taking the piss outta me? I mean seriously…the least you could have done is make it painless…its like someone gave you a huge magnifying lens and you are just focusing this bullshit on me…thanks dude, gotta love you

Now, fuck off

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