Saturday, July 15, 2006

What Me Blog?

Hm, I'm trying to imagine what I feel
Odd statement I know but let me see
Hmmm
(and no, the hmm isnt for effect ha ha. I really do go hmm and purse my lips together when I think)
Okay so people are aware lumps of clay.
(this is when you go eh?)

You can have someone in your life who leaves a mark...as you grow older the clay hardens and even the oldest of mark, albeit buired under other lines are obscured, they are still there.

Sometimes you love a person and you let that person do more than draw a line, you let them change the very shape of the clay and as time goes by, you may forget and believe you were always that shape, but that wasn't the case.

Some people forget and smudge out the lines. I don't want that, I want to be a scarred piece of clay (am I making any sense?!) that remembers...and can watch itself evolve and hope that end of its life, its something unique, has a purpose and is beautiful.

That's why this exists and even though I am not very disciplined, its the forgetting part that will terrify me into remembering. I don't want to grow old and wonder why I am who I am...I want to know that this is where I started out and this is where I have ended up.

Don't let me forget, don't let me forget the pain I feel at her leaving me, the loss I feel with no friends in a strange land, the smile I have when my parents say they miss me, the time I feel when my sister asks for help.
I am me. And I am for a reason.

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