I think I figured out why I am agnostic instead of an atheist. I can't quite say c'est la vie.
There has to be a reason. Each disappointment beyond my control, everything gone awry through no action or inaction on my part, that equilizer to the questions doubting myself, those needed an explanation.
So in cases like that, I would like to throw my hands up in the air to the universe and say I give up, well, I can't live with myself if i say that but I can certainly say so be it, you win this one.
But yeah, instead of wondering about short comings in me, and usually there haven't been significant contributions from my own faults, I would like to think things turn out for the better, and well, hopefully, when things don't quite go as I hoped, I would like to think of someone, the Universe watching out for me and throwing me a bone.
And it's for those I am so thankful and even in those cases, the stroke of luck, the chance meeting, I would like to have something to thank.
So, while I can't surrender to 'chance', I will personify the Universe and give it a nudge and say thanks for the smaller things, I did notice.