(Work In Progress)

Some people do it in the shower, some on the pot, some in their kitchen and others in the living room.
We all do it somewhere, sometime or the other.
I prefer my bed.

It really is the best place.

.......
To think.
Pervs.



I think the earliest recollection I have is in the house in GK-2. I think i was 12 or 13? No, 10. Fuck, it was my 10th birthday and i rememberr driving somewhere during the day with Dad to the doctors (ENT, not what my Dad does) and saying out aloud that I had lived a decade and had nothing to show for it.
Precocious? Perhaps. I prefer to think of it more as a Calvin from Calvin & Hobbest comment.
Of course my Dad laughed and I couldn't understand why it was funny. I never did speak along those lines to him again but still.
And I remember lying in bed that night and thinking I could be whatever I wanted to be and the problem with that, in a 10 year olds words, what's the right thing for me to be.
Then puberty happened and I just thought about girls...women, chicas, broads, the fairer sex.
Don't think I've really stopped but when I do take a break from my (unfortunately, have to admit, sometimes) carnal musings on women, I do think about other things.


Then there was Jaipur, the second night without my folks. See, the first day they left me in school (and until this point I had been home schooled), I thought I'd see them when I got home. I think it's only that evening that it dawned on me that they had disappeared. Now given my Mum's proclivity for scaring me by saying that they found me in a dumpster and would leave me back in one if I misbehaved, I thought this was their equivalent. So the second night I did write them a letter asking what I did wrong. Sap.
I don't think my grandmother mailed that letter out...


Or the night I got my first rejection from a college in the US. I had to question everything I had to offer...see the problem is that there are more questions than answers. But I think the fun lies in thinking them through.

All in all, there's something comforting lying in bed, the cold wind outside, the warm sheets within, stretched out, looking up at the hazy lights of the City and wondering where I'm headed.

For instance, I remember lying in a strange hotel room, in a new city after meeting this new girl who I liked. Still think about her. But we will see where it goes.