MumSpeak

Mum: So yeah, even another astrologer said you would get it by 27th November. That’s the second one. He also said you are lucky for Dad
Me: (Lucky? Lucky how? Like a rabbits foot? He has to pat my head before starting something new? Lucky how exactly?) Argghh, I wish you wouldn’t put stock in this
Mum: So, how are you doing?
Me: Well, you should already know! What did the astrologer say about how I’m doing?
Mum: Har har, ut your father is going to Gwalior to show it to this other guy and we’ll confirm it then, but to the point, how is Shorty doing?
Me: waitaminute! Another one?! And I get rather suspicious when you go straight from astrology talk to asking about her!
Mum: Well, I have to know if I need to look at her in another light
Me: (How many kinds of lights are there? I don’t even want to know)
Mum: Ask her to come to Delhi
Me: Well, I will, all in good time, don’t make me hurry things up! (Why is it women crave babies? And not just having their own but having their own babies have babies?)
Me: Besides, I’m moving home aren’t I (I ask her rather sardonically) and then you’ll be there
Mum: If it’s Bombay, I’ll be there all the time!
Me: Of course you will, who else will find me a place, unpack my stuff, arrange it, find a dhobi, interview prospective cleaning people. You’ll be there and I won’t even have to ask, you’ll do all this for me
Mum:…
Mum: asshole